Giving...it feels awfully good...except when it hurts

Last night I was able to make donations to the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree.  I gave for 2 children...one was a child that I've been following the mom's blog. I know that it was hard for them to commit initially to adopting, because of the cost. They are counting on  God to provide since He has called them to this task. It made me feel so good to know that my donation might put them a tiny step closer to them bringing home their new daughter.  The second child/group, I gave to the older child fund that includes one little girl that has stolen my heart. I have become her prayer warrior (through Reece's Rainbow)  and I pray for her everyday and think of her constantly.  Her picture is on my refrigerator, but I don't have to have my eyes open to see it.  I worry that even if someone (wish it could be me) tries to rescue her...that it might not come soon enough.  She has been in an institution for 2 years, most don't survive there that long.  When Jessie and I say prayers together at night, we pray for her. Last night was the first time Jessie said her name...the way she pronounced it I will think of often now...so sweet.

There a million good causes and at times it feels overwhelming to me.  I shared with my husband last night though, I KNOW God put this one on MY heart.  He knew how different this one would be for me because of Jessie.  Some days the burden for Corinna hurts so much I can hardly stand it. I love a little girl so much that I have never met.  The truth is God knew and I know, that if it didn't hurt this way I would be less faithful in praying for her.  Sometimes it is hard to be faithful when we can't see any results, or know that we truly make a difference.  Last night when I made the donations online, that felt GOOD!!!!!!!! Every day when I pray for Corinna, just as important, doesn't feel so good at all, it hurts, but is just as vital.  So, giving...it feels awfully good...except when it hurts.