In sharing our life on this blog, I am ever mindful of who is reading, and also the fact that they don't really know me. It makes it hard to share some of the struggles. I would hate to think that a mom looking for encouragement felt discouraged by looking further down the road and thinking about something they aren't ready to face yet. As much as I'm concerned that someone might find reading the struggles discouraging, so might someone who is struggling find it difficult to read only the good stuff. Might they wonder if everyone else with a kid with Down syndrome is making such a party of it that they are the only ones having a hard time? I think that sometimes, as Christians, many of us think we aren't supposed to struggle in the way that we do. That somehow, if we were stronger Christians, these things, these issues wouldn't seem so hard. I've been pondering that lately. Because there have certainly been times that I'm struggling (not always DS, sometimes it's those typical kids that are the problem :), or unemployment, finances, overcommitted with a lack of energy. Now I'm whining, so I'll stop there :)
I do know this, "...that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 Those who love him, called to his purpose, that's me! I take all things to mean all things; the good, the bad, and the ugly. All things work for my good in the end. They might not always feel good in the moment. Sometimes they teach me endurance. Sometimes they teach something I'll need later. Even if I don't always know the why, I do know the who. He's trustworthy. He loves me. He's promised to work all things for my good. I'll trust that.
As much as is possible I'm going to try to keep it real. In doing so, know this....no matter what struggles I share, no matter what difficulties we face as a result of Down syndrome I love and accept Jessie unconditionally. She is a gift, as all children are, to me, to our family. We wouldn't change her if we could. Sometimes, it's still hard.
Thinking of all of you. Wondering whose reading......