Thursday, February 4, 2010

Corinna: Answered Prayer

Seeing the words "My forever family found me" above Corinna's picture on the Reece's Rainbow website....there are no words to describe how that felt for me. Overwhelmingly thankful. Definitely what Oprah calls "the ugly cry". I am thankful for the experience of praying for her and seeing God provide.  This experience is a spiritual marker in MY life. 

I was completely brokenhearted over Corinna.  I know it was God, it wasn't me.  When I first began looking at the Reece's Rainbow website I wondered how anyone ever knew the particular child God would have them adopt.  There are so many.  I had read that people said God put a certain child on their heart or when they saw the picture they knew they were supposed to be a part of their family.  I was envious.  I am always envious when someone says they have a clear word from God.  I so desire that from Him.  I don't mean I never get it, but I desire it more than I get it.  Absolute certainty, clear direction. 

I wondered if we were supposed to adopt Corinna.  I won't know till I get to heaven if we missed out on a blessing there.  My husband didn't feel that was what we were supposed to do.  I don't know if he wasn't listening closely enough, being practical, or if that wasn't the role we were to play.  I do know that at that point I knew I had to do what I could do.  Pray.  God allowed me to feel for her very personally, painfully, in a way that I don't that often for someone I don't personally know or have a connection to.  I was asked, "Why do you keep going back to her picture and looking at it every day if there's nothing you can do?" and "Why do you do that to yourself?"  One day, I will know the details of all the inner workings of what was going on.  One day I will know the rest of the story.  For now, I know that my prayers were used for Corinna's good and God's glory.

I know some things that aren't yet common knowledge, and I'm so thankful God put me in a position to be able to know those things.  That was his gift to me.  I know that what is happening for her is supernaturally God good. I know that isn't a grammatically correct sentence, but it's what needed to be said. 

The Bible tells me that he collects the prayers of the saints....I know they have meaning and purpose and are pleasing to him.  I am thankful that this time he let me see all the dots connected...he doesn't always work that way...but I am thankful that this time he did that next time I will remember this marker, and pray, knowing it has meaning even if I don't get to see the completed picture.  It will help me hold on till the next time He knows I need what only He can give.

1 comment:

  1. Praise God for He is SOOOOOOOOOOOO good my friend! Our little girl has a family!