Tuesday, March 15, 2011

New Realizations

Our kid has Down syndrome.  We've known this for a long time now :)  And yet, it seems that really understanding what that means happens over time. For each of us in the family, over time, there are some new realizations.  Sometimes, when they are new, it hurts a bit.  This past week was one of those times for Jordan. 

Jordan took Jessie along when she went to babysit 3 small children, all 6 and under.  Brave, huh?  She wanted Jessie to get to play with some friends.  She's played with these same children before and talks about them and wanting to go play with them.  This day, Jessie just never seemed to want to play the same things as the other children.  She was obsessively consumed with thoughts of a particular electronic game they weren't supposed to get out till after lunch.  The other kids were all fine with that.  Jessie just couldn't let it go and couldn't be satisfied with the other things.  Jessie's attention span....well, it ain't too long.  So, constantly Jessie was begging for V Smile.  She wasn't only being stubborn, which is certainly part of the equation.  She has no concept of how long till their lunch time.  No matter how hard Jordan tried to get Jessie to play cooperatively with the other kids, it just never lasted very long.  They love Lincoln logs...Jessie just doesn't have a clue why they're supposed to be fun.  We have some and she is so totally disinterested, even if I play with her.  I don't remember the other things they were playing but Jordan tried so hard, doing everything she could to make it work.  Jessie has a one track mind, a short attention span, inability to do some things kids younger than her can do, is inflexible, and stubborn.  Jordan called me crying and asked me to talk to Jessie.  Sometimes a little reminder from mom is all that is needed.  When I talked to Jessie she realized Jordan was crying and she began to cry.  Jordan had told her if she didn't behave she was going home. She started putting her shoes on and was ready to go home.  Jessie loves nothing better than playing with other children so that let me know that her frustration level was high as well.  I think she really was trying hard to "be good" but she did not want to play the things the other children were and didn't know what to do with herself. Jordan had a good cry on the way home.  We talked for while when she got home and then she said, "I feel like I just found out my baby has Down syndrome."  This day, she understood that Jessie wasn't trying to be uncooperative or behave badly but the situation was beyond her. No matter how much we love Jessie, sometimes Down syndrome is hard. 

Jordan is so mothering to Jessie.  I've said several times that I know Jessie will be well loved and taken care of by her siblings when one day her dad and I aren't here.  I know with no reservations that Jordan and Evan will willingly accept that responsibility and will always have her best interests at heart.  None of us knows what tomorrow holds.....so it is such a great comfort to me to know that.  Of course Jordan and Evan are just 16 and 14 so they love her like siblings do, not parents. Although the realizations of this day were hard for Jordan, it helped me to know that when that day comes, she will have the insight she needs to understand Jessie and know what's best for her.  I thank God for showing me that.

1 comment:

  1. Such a great post! Such a blessing that her big sis loves her so much and was hurt for her when she realized what she was missing. I can see us having these moments in the future. I admit to being baffled by certain behaviors, already.