In writing this blog, it is always in my mind, who am I speaking to? A new mom looking for blogs about Down syndrome? A mom thinking about homeschooling their child with Down syndrome? A mom needing encouragement? A mom looking for specific ideas that might be helpful in their homeschooling? Friends and acquaintances that really want to understand? With the exception of the last one, I have been each of those people, looking for websites and blogs for each of those different reasons. The blogs I most enjoy have given me some of each of those things. Encouragement, homeschooling ideas, a realization that there are others that feel much the same as I do...that there are those that face the same struggles and find some of the same joys of having a loved one with DS. I feel most connected when the writer shares struggles as well as the blessings. When they seem real. When I can identify with them.
In sharing our life on this blog, I am ever mindful of who is reading, and also the fact that they don't really know me. It makes it hard to share some of the struggles. I would hate to think that a mom looking for encouragement felt discouraged by looking further down the road and thinking about something they aren't ready to face yet. As much as I'm concerned that someone might find reading the struggles discouraging, so might someone who is struggling find it difficult to read only the good stuff. Might they wonder if everyone else with a kid with Down syndrome is making such a party of it that they are the only ones having a hard time? I think that sometimes, as Christians, many of us think we aren't supposed to struggle in the way that we do. That somehow, if we were stronger Christians, these things, these issues wouldn't seem so hard. I've been pondering that lately. Because there have certainly been times that I'm struggling (not always DS, sometimes it's those typical kids that are the problem :), or unemployment, finances, overcommitted with a lack of energy. Now I'm whining, so I'll stop there :)
I do know this, "...that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 Those who love him, called to his purpose, that's me! I take all things to mean all things; the good, the bad, and the ugly. All things work for my good in the end. They might not always feel good in the moment. Sometimes they teach me endurance. Sometimes they teach something I'll need later. Even if I don't always know the why, I do know the who. He's trustworthy. He loves me. He's promised to work all things for my good. I'll trust that.
As much as is possible I'm going to try to keep it real. In doing so, know this....no matter what struggles I share, no matter what difficulties we face as a result of Down syndrome I love and accept Jessie unconditionally. She is a gift, as all children are, to me, to our family. We wouldn't change her if we could. Sometimes, it's still hard.
Thinking of all of you. Wondering whose reading......
In sharing our life on this blog, I am ever mindful of who is reading, and also the fact that they don't really know me. It makes it hard to share some of the struggles. I would hate to think that a mom looking for encouragement felt discouraged by looking further down the road and thinking about something they aren't ready to face yet. As much as I'm concerned that someone might find reading the struggles discouraging, so might someone who is struggling find it difficult to read only the good stuff. Might they wonder if everyone else with a kid with Down syndrome is making such a party of it that they are the only ones having a hard time? I think that sometimes, as Christians, many of us think we aren't supposed to struggle in the way that we do. That somehow, if we were stronger Christians, these things, these issues wouldn't seem so hard. I've been pondering that lately. Because there have certainly been times that I'm struggling (not always DS, sometimes it's those typical kids that are the problem :), or unemployment, finances, overcommitted with a lack of energy. Now I'm whining, so I'll stop there :)
I do know this, "...that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 Those who love him, called to his purpose, that's me! I take all things to mean all things; the good, the bad, and the ugly. All things work for my good in the end. They might not always feel good in the moment. Sometimes they teach me endurance. Sometimes they teach something I'll need later. Even if I don't always know the why, I do know the who. He's trustworthy. He loves me. He's promised to work all things for my good. I'll trust that.
As much as is possible I'm going to try to keep it real. In doing so, know this....no matter what struggles I share, no matter what difficulties we face as a result of Down syndrome I love and accept Jessie unconditionally. She is a gift, as all children are, to me, to our family. We wouldn't change her if we could. Sometimes, it's still hard.
Thinking of all of you. Wondering whose reading......
It's always good to know that you aren't the only one struggling! When Bradley was little, there were times---even though everyday I was thankful for him and loved him like crazy--that I longed to have a baby where things happened "normally" (whatever that is lol) I prayed---God answered :-) And i have 3 precious girls! They have been just what Bradley has needed to push him and show him things--and I have often thought that-yes, God answered my prayer---but I think he did for Bradley as much as me. :-)
ReplyDeleteIn the book One thousand Gifts--it talks about seeing God's back. :-) Have you gotten to that chapter? I love that part! :-)
Thank you for being so willing to share---I could talk to you all day long! :-)
I can totally relate. Sometimes you just want to rant and say whatever. Just about the hard times. I try to do both..but tend to talk a lot about our medical issues ect.
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